Have you ever gotten so hurt, frustrated, disappointed, or discouraged in the ministry that you began to get angry, hard, bitter, uncaring, or cynical – jaded? I certainly have had my share of challenges, and it can be tempting to drift into a hard demeanor or somehow distance ourselves from the work or the people to guard against hurt or frustration. We are seeing more attention given to the issue of burnout lately, but I think jadedness precedes burnout and poisons ministers and ministries before burnout occurs and, in longer-term situations, when ministers manage to avoid actual burnout but operate with a jaded heart, mind, and spirit. First Peter 5:1-3 (ESV) says, “So I exhort the elders among you, as a fellow elder and a witness of the sufferings of Christ, as well as a partaker in the glory that is going to be revealed: shepherd the flock of God that is among you, exercising oversight, not under compulsion, but willingly, as God would have you; not for shameful gain, but eagerly; not domineering over those in your charge, but being examples to the flock.” Because of the very real possibility of becoming jaded in the ministry, the detrimental effects of becoming jaded, and the manner in which the Word encourages us to carry out our work, I want to offer you some suggestions for how to deal with jadedness in the ministry.
Realize people are people, and God lets them be, even in the church. – The reality is, church people and other Christians will disappoint us, betray us, hurt us, and operate in sinful and Kingdom-harming ways. Further, God works in hearts to shape us into Godliness, but He does not keep people from being un-Godly. Allowing these truths to keep our expectations realistic can help us not become jaded so easily.
Realize your potential for becoming jaded, and remain self-aware. – Some people tend toward cynicism and hardness more than others, but we all have the potential to stray into jadedness. A good practice is to maintain the humility to realize we can stray into this or any other harmful mindset and maintain the self-awareness and honest reflective processes that help us keep an eye on our well-being and mindset.
Spend time in the Word and prayer, dealing honestly with God. – We need to spend time in the Word in a deep, reflective way that allows the Scripture to search our hearts and be a mirror in which we can see ourselves and what might need to be addressed. Along with this humble, honest, reflective Bible time, we need to go before the Lord in humble, honest prayer so He can deal with our heart, mind, and spirit – renewing us, sustaining us, correcting us, and forgiving us when we have strayed into or are heading toward sinful attitudes in response to disappointments and frustrations.
Consider finding a safe context in which to vent, but guard against letting the frustration take root and against saying things that would be harmful. – It may be helpful to have friendships with others with whom you can “blow off steam” without taking it too far or nurturing each other’s potential bitterness. Additionally, we have to guard against giving vent to our feelings within the church in ways the enemy can use to harm the work of the Kingdom.
Cultivate and choose to operate in love for God and your people. – Love is the best motivator for serving the Lord and doing the work of ministry. When our love grows cold, frustration can begin to poison our hearts, but love for the Lord and His people helps us sacrifice and bear up well under the strain and disappointments of ministry.
Stay anchored in your call and sense of purpose. – When we are discouraged and frustrated, we can limit the jadedness in our hearts by staying grounded in the knowledge of what God has called us to do. This can improve our staying-power and perseverance while guarding us from hardness.
When your setting and your purpose don’t line up, ask the Lord to change you, change the people, or change what He has you doing. – We said earlier that God let’s people be people, and sometimes a church chooses a trajectory that just doesn’t fit God’s call on your life and ministry. You may need to enter into a season of prayer in which you ask the Lord to re-shape the hearts of the people, change your understanding of your call and role (at least for the present), show you how to modify your current ministry efforts, or move you to a place or role where you more fully can flesh out your call and gifts in ministry.
As I think about my own experiences and the input of other ministers I interviewed around this topic, it seems nurturing one’s own resilience and caring for one’s own walk with and connection to the Lord are vital components of avoiding a jaded heart and mind or getting out of that place once it has become an issue. More than once, pastors mentioned Elijah and his deep discouragement, experience with God in the wilderness, and the re-set of perspective and renewal of ministry coming from that encounter (1 Kings 19). Those of us in ministry need to maintain our relationship with and reliance on the Lord and cultivate strength without hardness, a “thicker skin” without becoming calloused, and realism without cynicism. If you need practical suggestions for strengthening your well-being please see my other blog entries such as When God is Your Job, Encouragement for Your Ministry, Depending on God in the Ministry, Dealing With Ministry Disappointments, Taking Care of Yourself in the Ministry, The Pastor’s Prayer Life, and How to Grow From Disappointment.