Relationship Self-Care in the Ministry

Think about the impact of relationships in your life and ministry–specifically, the positive impact and how relationships have shaped, helped, grown, guided, and guarded you over the years. The relational aspect of taking care of ourselves in the ministry is crucial. So, what is relational self-care? It is realizing we are relational beings who need healthy relationships. It is realizing we will not be whole or healthy apart from some good relationships, and, apart from the influence of those relationships, we risk self-destructing in some way. So, relational self-care involves seeking, identifying, and nurturing healthy relationships that help us function as whole persons and as healthy and effective ministers.

Understand the Importance of Good and God-Honoring Relationships – About 15 years ago, I had gotten to an unhealthy place regarding relationships and ministry. I was a loner who focused on tasks and relied on my own stubborn resilience apart from relational support. Our BGCT Congregational Strategist challenged me at this point, and I believe his exact words were, “It’s all about relationships.” God began providing helpful relationships, and as I think about the positive impact of my relationships and how that relates to taking care of ourselves in the ministry, let me make a few observations.

• We are relational beings, and nothing about how God designed us or Christ’s Body suggests we can or should do life and ministry in isolation.

• We may need to pray for, seek, or at least be able to identify beneficial relationships when they come along, then seize upon them and cultivate them.

• Good and God-honoring relationships provide support, perspective, and encouragement in the difficult, lonely, and often discouraging field of ministry.

• Good and God-honoring relationships help us guard against pride, sin, despair, and blind spots that can cripple Kingdom witness and work and can destroy us and others.

• Your own personality will determine the type and amount of relational interaction you need. Some benefit from peer study groups. Or you may simply need to grab coffee with a friend and visit. You may need to process a ministerial situation with a good “sounding board,” may need advice or coaching, or may simply need a supportive friend or one who will challenge your perspective. Each of us must figure out what we need, and I suspect that varies from time to time.

• Maintaining relationships will take intentionality, effort, and discipline.

• As I wrote this, a pastor friend mentioned the need to examine our desire for and sense of need for relationships, as well as the need to pray about this. We may need to ask the Lord to help us want supportive relationships strongly enough to find and nurture them. And, we may have to ask Him to give us helpful relationships if we struggle to find them.

• Two other colleagues mentioned the support of specific relationships in key seasons of life and ministry–relationships that provide specific help at crucial junctures.

• Some relationships will be fairly one-directional and others more egalitarian. Some involve you pouring into another without receiving care and ministry in return. Conversely, you may have a mentor or advisor who pours into you more than you help that person. Then, there will be relationships of mutuality where sharpening, support, and benefit flow both directions.

Keep Relationships in Their Appropriate Lanes – Think about the categories of relationships you have as a minister. There are family relationships, ministry-setting relationships, friendships, and business relationships. One part of relational well-being is allowing each type of relationship to function for what it is and not improperly allowing that relationship to function in ways or meet needs it should not. A seminary professor once advised us to ask in every interaction, “Whose needs am I trying to meet?” Some relationships legitimately may meet our needs, but in others, our responsibility is to function professionally and / or pastorally and not abuse the relationship to get our needs met. Part of relational self-care is discerning between types of relationships and keeping each in its own lane. A related aspect of relational self-care is finding supportive relationships so we are not tempted to misuse professional or ministerial relationships to meet our needs.

Be Appropriately Guarded in Relational Connections – Not every relationship is beneficial, and not everyone who offers you relationship should be allowed into your circle. When it comes to friendships, potentially supportive relationships, and professional connections, we need to be selective and discriminating. People have various motives for offering relationships and support. John 2:24 has stood out to me over the years as helpful at this point. It says, “But Jesus would not entrust himself to them, for he knew all people” (NIV). Additionally, in Well-Intentioned Dragons: Dealing With Difficult People in the Church, Marshall Shelley observes that people anxious to be the pastor’s friend may end up being “dragons.” You and I cannot and should not be close to everyone, and we need to build relationships with care.

Watch Out for Relationship Substitutes – For various reasons, we might be tempted to settle for relationship substitutes. Two I think of readily are work and social media. We may be task-oriented, very busy, and somewhat introverted. We may be uncertain how to pursue healthy relationships, may suffer from past hurt, or may fear betrayal or rejection, so we bury ourselves in work. We also might give ourselves the artificial sense of connection of online interactions or social media. Early in my doctoral work, I started feeling very isolated, so I got on social media to find some connection to others. I mentioned that to a friend who was quick to correct my thinking, reminding me social media is not relationships.

Over the years, the Lord has blessed me with supportive and transformational relationships, and He has sustained me in times when I lacked those connections. Let me encourage you to identify, find, and nurture relationships that will help you function as a healthy Christian and an effective minister.

1. What relationships have been particularly helpful in your life and ministry?

2. What makes a relationship helpful for you?

3. In what ways have relationships grown you, guided you, guarded you, supported you, or offered you meaningful pushback and correction?

4. What are your biggest obstacles to finding and maintaining helpful relationships?

5. How might you address those obstacles?

6. Do you want and sense a need for healthy relationships? Will you make this a matter of prayer and intentional effort?

7. Who can help you think through how to find and nurture meaningful relationships?

Mavericks and Rogues in Organizations

Have you ever worked with someone or had someone in your organization who always seemed to do things their own way and sometimes on their own schedule? Have you ever supervised that someone – or been that someone – who had an unconventional way of doing things? Have you noticed a difference between an unconventional person who ended up being an asset versus one who was a detriment? Some time ago, I was visiting with a friend about organizational dynamics, leadership, and the type of person who seems to think and work “outside the box.” My friend was frustrated and getting some pushback because of his unconventional ways even though he is a great guy and was seeing success in his position. He felt unduly constrained and underappreciated, while his supervisors felt he was not functioning as a team player and not doing things correctly. During that conversation, I began to distinguish between mavericks and rogues. The distinction I make between these two is that, while both are unconventional and want latitude to do things their own way, a maverick is potentially beneficial and truly wants the organization to succeed, while a rogue simply is uncooperative and detrimental.

What is a maverick?

• A maverick “colors outside the lines” and may even re-draw the lines.

• A maverick may improvise and adopt unconventional methods.

• A maverick may act spontaneously without securing approval.

• A maverick may do what he or she believes will accomplish organizational goals and further the organization’s mission with little regard for policies and procedures.

• A maverick may substitute what he or she perceives to be a better and more helpful goal for an existing goal without prior approval.

• A maverick may be perceived as a threat, a risk, and even a rogue.

What is a rogue? – When I think of a rogue, I think of someone who may do one or more of the things listed above, but with a different attitude and in a way and to an extent that is more dangerous. The rogue may be reckless, negligent, or intentionally malicious and destructive. A rogue either does not care about the goals and well-being of the organization or may harm it intentionally. While a maverick may be corrected and brings potential benefit to the organization, a rogue tends to be less correctable and offers no benefit unless attitude and actions change.

What are some differences between mavericks and rogues? – Here are some differences I see between the two.

• A maverick is leadable and teachable, whereas a rogue is not. Since the maverick wants the organization to succeed but is unconventional in approach and strategies, I believe a maverick will show some willingness–if approached correctly–to cooperate with leadership at key points.

• A maverick will demonstrate a willingness to learn the situations and responsibilities in which there is latitude for creativity and those where there is not, although, I believe a maverick needs respectful explanation when his or her creativity must be reined in. Alternatively, a rogue will not cooperate with boundaries and instruction.

• A maverick cares about organizational mission and success, while a rogue cares only about his or her agenda.

What might a maverick need from me as a leader? – As I think about leading a maverick, it seems to me this individual will need clear communication, an appropriate and negotiated balance of freedom and supervision, support, and respect for their novel ideas. The maverick needs room for innovation and unconventional strategies when these will not pose a risk to organizational goals and responsibilities. Additionally, the maverick will need clarity regarding firm and flexible expectations, as well as how and when innovation is acceptable and the way in which it is to be approached. Finally, there is a need for respect and the opportunity to explain the new approach and demonstrate the potential effectiveness of the innovative idea or strategy.

As a leader, what do I need from a maverick? – Having been in leadership for many years and having worked with more and less cooperative people, the following are some things I need from someone on my team who is a maverick.

• I need a maverick to care about what already is done and how it is done in the organization and understand the reasons behind current expectations, policies, and procedures. There are reasons for the current way of doing things, and I need a maverick to understand those reasons before getting creative. In some settings and situations, things really need to be done a certain way.

• I need a maverick to give me a heads-up on unconventional plans and help me understand the rationale before carrying those out or when he or she wants to break with policy, procedure, or expectations. As a leader, I am responsible for what my team members do, and it may also be the maverick has not thought through a potential complication their new approach might set in motion. Discussing things beforehand allows the opportunity to troubleshoot the innovation up front.

• I need a maverick to understand the difference between things that do allow for creativity and breaking with protocol and things that do not. When issues of safety or legality come into play, creativity is not a good option.

• I need a maverick to understand that I may need to rein some things in due to the fact that, if I give this individual the latitude they desire, I will have to give others that latitude, and I may not be able to do that.

• I need to know how the maverick’s new way of doing things will further organizational objectives and will align with and complement other efforts and components within the organization.

• I need communication, cooperation, and respect even as I work to grant latitude for creativity, spontaneity, and unconventional methods.

• I need a maverick to demonstrate he or she is not a rogue.

*For further reading on the potential benefits of mavericks and how to lead them, see “No Room for Mavericks” in Hans Finzel’s book The Top 10 Mistakes Leaders Make.

** Believing it takes a healthy leader to deal well with a maverick, let me recommend The Emotionally Healthy Leader by Peter Scazzero.

PC: Wayne Grubbs

Addressing the Implementation Gap

Do you sometimes realize there is a distinct difference between what you know to do and what you do? Maybe you have attended a ground-breaking seminar, read a great book, listened to an insightful sermon or podcast, obtained a degree or taken a course that should be helpful, or made a potentially life-changing discovery in prayer or reflection. But, if you are like me, you have times you are not implementing that great learning, acting on your insights, or using the skills you have developed. We know it probably would help, but we continue doing the same things the same way and getting the same results. Our efforts at learning and growth seem to go nowhere. I have been there, and my goal is not to make you feel bad about failing to implement new knowledge, skills, tactics, and strategies. I want to give you some ideas I believe can help you narrow, if not close, the implementation gap.

Where does the implementation gap show up for you? Is it at work, in family or friend relationships, in personal development and well-being, spiritual growth, or some other area? The implementation gap exists at two levels – the systemic level and the personal level. In this piece, let’s look at the personal level, which is our individual failure to implement what we need to or want to implement. Let’s start by getting an idea of what leads to the gap. We might not know how to implement the new learning, or we don’t think we can. We sometimes try to implement the new learning all-at-once and get discouraged. Implementation may just be hard in terms of time and effort. We may realize change to the new way of doing things will force us to admit we have not done things the best way before now. Maybe, the expectations of others as to what we will do and how we do it hinder implementation. Or, we may have a lack of self-discipline, have inadequate support from others, or face some other challenge. This is not an exhaustive list of factors, but it might help you figure out what leads to your difficulty.

We could look at each of these, but, for now, I want to focus on the combination of busyness and routine. We all feel it and have it. We have so much to do that we get on autopilot and feel we cannot add anything to our plate. Or we get into our routines, lose track of passing time, and forget about the new idea, knowledge, skill, or strategy in the actual flow of events, interactions, and decisions where those ideas could be implemented. One type of routine is our list of tasks, approach to schedule, and pattern of doing life and work. Routine can make things easier, because it lets us put effort into actual tasks rather than figuring out what to do, when to do it, and how to do it. The other type of routine is our mental routine – the mental model of what, how, when, and why that we often access and run subconsciously. It is our thinking, and we often do not take time and expend effort to think about our thinking.

When our implementation gap stems from busyness and routine, we need to realize new knowledge won’t change anything until we implement it, and we will not implement it without pushing back from business-as-usual in ways that help us intentionally implement the new knowledge, insights, decisions, and strategies. Here are some ways to do that.

• Schedule regular time for reflection, evaluation, and planning. There may be some things you have to stop doing or delegate to others to do this, but it is vital.

• Envision what implementing the new knowledge would look like. For instance, I might take a specific leadership principle or strategy and think through exactly what that would look like in my own organization and how I might put it into practice.

• Think through obstacles to implementation, resources for implementation, and the pace of implementation in your situation.

• Set goals for implementation.

• Evaluate to determine the extent to which you have or have not implemented the new knowledge in specific situations and what you might do better when that situation arises in the future.

• Build some sort of pause into your decision and reaction processes, so that, in the moment, you can act according to your new knowledge instead of old patterns.

• Find someone to help you with the process of reflection, evaluation, and planning – a trusted confidant, friend, or coach, for instance. This person needs to be able to challenge you and ask hard questions to help you get clarity and make progress.

Implementation gaps show up all the time, don’t they? Leaders learn, in theory, how to be more effective but resort to ineffective practices. Spouses or parents learn, in theory, how to relate better, but in the heat of the moment, they do not live out those better ways. We read the Bible or hear solid teaching on what Christian life ought to be, but we find ourselves falling short of practicing our faith well. We set health goals, but we slip too easily into familiar, unhealthy patterns. Disciplined planning, evaluation, and reflection can go a long way to helping us close the gaps.

Four Tools to Increase Traction in Life and Work

As you look at the areas of your life and work, how are things going? Do you have a clear idea of where you want to head, and are you are making solid progress? Do you sometimes look back and think, “Wow, I haven’t gotten the kind of traction or made the kind of progress I would have liked? Are you confident and encouraged in this season, or is there some discouragement? It seems to me that we want traction in fulfilling our goals, purpose, and responsibilities, and we need encouragement and a sense of self-efficacy as we strive to move forward. In this post, I give you four tools I believe have great potential for helping you get traction and be more optimistic as you do.

Make a Wins List – Some time ago, I was really discouraged, and a good friend said, “You need a ‘win’ pile. You need to start making a “wins list.” The idea included looking back at life to make an overall list of wins and the regular practice of updating that list. It has been such a helpful practice! When we realize and begin accumulating wins, we find encouragement and increased self-efficacy, we stand to become more positive, and we have a better chance of getting traction in our pursuits. The first aspect of this exercise is thinking back over your life to create an overview record of wins and victories. Then, begin the practice of making a win list each week, each quarter, and each year, and keep these for reference moving forward. Let me make two clarifications. First, wins are more-basic accomplishments, while victories are larger, major shift, breakthrough achievements. Record both. Second, distinguish between your accomplishments and gifts brought into your life from God and other people. Record both. I suppose an unhealthy focus on wins could lead to pride, but I believe that, with Godly humility, the practice is a great way to find encouragement and increased confidence, particularly when we are in especially trying seasons.

Plan for Wins Intentionally – It is not my intention, in this post, to tell you how to structure your week, but I want briefly to share my planning structure to set the stage for this next tool. I plan each week in four categories – work, avocation, development, and personal responsibilities. I then budget time for each task under each category and schedule activities. Here is the added piece. We tend to – or I tend to – let the same task types and even the same tasks consume each week, and this is not all bad. Routine can be helpful, and there are many recurring responsibilities. However, the danger is getting into a rut and not really moving forward in our life purpose and goals. When you plan your week, ask yourself, “What do I want to be able to say a week from now that I cannot say today?” This will help you add special tasks to your planning and / or clarify how you want to approach your regularly scheduled activities. It provides an added layer of intentionality that should result in better traction and more wins.

Conduct an End-of-Week Evaluation – Years ago, a ministry friend and colleague began helping me see the importance of regular evaluation and gave me the evaluation structure I mention below. When done well and for the right reasons, evaluation is crucial. Without evaluation, we might drift from our intended mission, fall short of our goals, fail to learn and improve, and be forced to rely on chance for achieving wins. Evaluation helps us be better stewards of all God has given us and do a better job of living out our purpose and reaching our goals. The evaluation consists of three questions in the following order. First, as you look back at the week, “What went well?” This helps you identify wins. Second, “What could have gone better?” Here is where learning can take place for improvement. Third, “What do I want to do different and differently next week?” Different is a change in actions, while differently has to do with modifying existing actions. This is how you sharpen your plan for success, so you gain traction moving ahead.

Conduct a Mid-Week Review – How often do you find yourself heading into the end of a week realizing you didn’t get done d what you said you wanted to? It seems weekly planning and goal-setting alone can be inadequate. Sometimes our goals are unrealistic; sometimes unexpected things come up; sometimes we get off track because of distractions; sometimes our weekly routine hinders us rather than helping. A mid-week review is a great way to check progress on your plans and goals so you can make necessary adjustments to your schedule and efforts, increasing the chance of achieving wins and wrapping up the week strong. In a sense, you are asking relative to each area and goal, “How are things going? Am I on track? What adjustments need to be made to get on track?” This gives you a better chance of being able to say at the end of the week that those things you wanted to be able to say by the end of the week actually happen.

Through the years, one of my favorite concepts has been intentionality. Success does not tend to happen by accident. Once we have a sense of who God wants us to be and what we want to accomplish, intentionality helps us flesh that out. The four tools in this post have helped me in my own efforts at intentional progress, and I believe they can benefit you as well.

** For further tips and tools, continue exploring this blog and check out my Life and Leadership series on YouTube.

One Pastor in the Pandemic

Recently, a friend mentioned that many pastors have not fared well during this season of pandemic-induced stress, and he encouraged me to write about how I have navigated this season and maintained well-being. In all fairness, my church members have been patient and gracious; our church has remained financially stable; and we did not close our doors permanently, even though we suspended indoor worship and Bible study longer than many. I have not lost my job or home, and uncertainty is nothing new for me or our church. However, there has been stress brought about by isolation, confusion and felt powerlessness in the face of so many factors, and the inability to do in-person, relationship-based ministry that really is how Kingdom work happens. I have been somewhat inefficient, and my emotions occasionally have been closer to the surface than I wanted. However, I have peace, joy, and well-being, so here is some of how I have walked through this pandemic.

Resilience in Reserve – In a sense, my life has prepared me for the adjustments of this season. From being an only child, to health challenges growing up, to college in another state, to fairly-solitary small-church pastorates, to countless hours of study through the pursuit of three degrees – being alone and figuring out how to navigate challenges are nothing new. I am used to solitude and the dogged pursuit of goals to carry out responsibilities. Learned resilience and a measure of stubbornness have served me well. Not doing what was needed and not being OK were not acceptable options, and I drew upon resources developed throughout my life to walk through this time.

Managed Expectations – For me, five principles came together in managing expectations. The first was stewardship. What were my responsibilities, and what really needed to happen, even though I had to modify how I carried out those responsibilities? The second was possibility. The question had to shift from, “What can I not do?” to “What can I do that expresses good stewardship of my responsibilities and of Kingdom pursuit?” The third principle was reasonableness. I had to determine what reasonably, realistically was needed to carry out as much of my pastoral role as I could without making unnecessary work simply because we did not have regular services and I felt the need to work hard or prove myself. The fourth was grace – God’s grace upon our people and upon me, my church’s grace knowing and trusting I was working, and grace with myself realizing we were in new territory. The fifth principle has been the Kingdom of God. Although I long have thought in terms of Kingdom, with church as an instrument of Kingdom rather than equated with it, this season of eliminated church programs and activities forced me, in a new way, to think in terms of what might further the Kingdom rather than experiencing stress because certain activities were suspended.

Mindset and Thought Processes – Four mindsets and thought processes helped me stay on an even keel and maintain my well-being. The first was a disciplined effort to maintain balance and objectivity. Over the years, I have found that truth usually is somewhere in the middle, and it is helpful to step back from an emotional response in order to insist on as objective an approach as possible. Proverbs extols the virtue of avoiding extremes, and a friend shared with me some years ago the idea that calm is, in his words, a superpower. Second, I tried to maintain self-awareness and practice regular evaluation. Self-awareness helps us understand what we are doing, thinking, and feeling. Evaluation helps us make course corrections and find encouragement. For instance, it is encouraging to write down “wins” toward the end of each week and discover that, yes, work is getting done and good things are happening. Third, I insisted on being careful without being fearful. Finally, I availed myself of a professional coach who served as a sounding board and facilitator in my work of evaluation and planning. We worked on issues related to church, additional ministry efforts, and personal needs and goals. Coaching facilitates fresh perspectives to help with evaluation, goal-setting, and planning.

Practices – As I reflect on how I navigated the pandemic season, five practices stand out as particularly helpful. First, I maintained as much normalcy as possible. I had the option of maintaining my office schedule, so I did. Second, I adjusted my work environment at the office to give me an outside view, since nature refreshes me. Third, I got human contact where I could find it. I participated in NAMB’s Pastors Care Cohort weekly, increased my use of podcasts and online sermons to get outside my own thoughts, increased my consumption of online information to stay somewhat in-touch with the outside world, called and texted friends occasionally, and continued seeing my aging parents regularly to care for them. As things began to open up, I also started having a few face-to-face visits and doing some in-person ministry – always being careful – understanding the need for personal interaction in maintaining people’s emotional, mental, and spiritual well-being. Some will disagree with this approach, but it was what I felt was best as I weighed the need to care for others with the need for caution. Fourth, I took time for personal reflection and self-improvement. Finally, I nurtured my spiritual well-being and walk with the Lord through prayer, time in the Word, journaling, and listening to online sermons. Although I already practice prayer, Bible reading, and journaling, I slowed the pace of my Bible reading and overlapped my reading with the sermons I listened to. I combined my devotional reading with the video Bible teaching I was producing for the church so Biblical principles could “soak in” better in my own heart and mind. During this season, I have seen an increase in my love for the Lord, my peace, my joy, and my gratitude.

You may be a fellow minister who also has fared well – maybe through some of the same means I have and maybe through others. You may be a fellow minister who has not done well. I pray you find the means of well-being you need. You may serve the Lord outside vocational ministry, and I hope this piece has brought you some encouragement, as well as some insight into your pastor or other church staff members and how you can pray for them. May the Lord allow each of us to find grounding and maintain peace, joy, perspective, and wholeness in Christ as we continue to move forward.

When we Respond to Criticism Poorly

Think with me about a time when you experienced criticism. Did you respond well or poorly, and what did your response set in motion? I suspect most of us can think of times when we responded poorly, and that poor response was harmful. Some time ago, I wrote a piece giving you suggestions for how to handle criticism in the ministry. Now, I want to circle back and look at three categories of poor responses to criticism and how they can be detrimental.

We give criticism too much weight. – Probably, every one of us has had criticism leveled at us to which we gave too much weight – we took it too seriously, let it go too deep in our hearts, and let it lead to over-response or unhealthy response. Maybe we were having a hard day, or we were criticized about something we already were a bit unsure about. Maybe the person was influential in the church or simply had a way with words, tone, and demeanor that hit us hard. Maybe we just misjudged how big an issue the criticism was. At any rate, when we give a criticism too much weight, we may lose sight of other, positive things that are happening, or we may start second-guessing ourselves. We might stop doing something we really need to keep doing, but the criticism leads us to shut down instead of simply modifying our work or taking it under advisement and proceeding respectfully. Conversely, we might start doing something out of reaction that really isn’t called for or healthy. We might give this person undue influence to keep him or her happy (something folks who manipulate with criticism count on). We might start feeling unduly bad about ourselves or even begin to resent the criticizer. We give criticism too much weight when we misjudge the importance of the critique or miscalculate what our response should be. To assign the proper importance to a criticism, step back and look at the criticism as objectively as possible. Think through the ramifications of the issue that has been mentioned to you, the source of the criticism, and actual best responses rather than overreactions.

We do not give criticism enough weight. – On the other end of the spectrum, have you ever blown off a criticism to which you really should have paid attention? I figure we all have. We failed to realize how much influence the person had, that he or she really was upset, or that the issue really was serious. When we misjudge the influence, we risk turmoil in the church and our own leadership effectiveness. When we misjudge the seriousness of the issue, we fail to deal with things that are harmful if left unaddressed. Other times, we might be too dismissive of the person. Sometimes, a criticism is not about a huge issue, but the person wants to feel heard and valued, and the criticism may come from a place of misunderstanding. In that case, giving the issue or the person some timely attention can prevent a lot of hurt and may even built relationships, allow us or the criticizer to learn something, and strengthen the church and our leadership. Dismissiveness not only is insulting, it robs us of the opportunity to minister, to grow, or even to clarify something if the criticism is based on misunderstanding. If we listen carefully, demonstrate love and concern, modify things when needed, respond in humility, and even apologize when it is warranted, we honor God and protect the unity and witness of His church. Going a bit deeper, sometimes, a criticism is not really about the stated issue. The criticism may simply be the most readily identifiable or most easily voiced complaint. If we listen well and ask some good questions in a non-defensive manner, we may discover some deeper needs and opportunities for service and growth. Finally, the criticism may actually be something other than a critique. It may be an attempt to help or protect us. It may be an effort to guard the glory of God, the witness of the church, or the work of the Kingdom. It may be a warning of impending trouble. It may be a suggestion. It may be a request for some sort of care or adjustment veiled in the form of criticism. Again, step back and evaluate as objectively as possible. As I mentioned above, think through the source of the criticism, the actual nature of the issue, and best ways to move forward.

We respond to criticism out of the flesh, immaturity, pride, or insecurity. – I will not go into each of these difficulties and the particular ways they might manifest themselves, but I want to mention three poor responses to criticism that might stem from any or all of these. First, we might deny any possibility we have acted or failed to act in any way that deserves critique. In this case, we need to cultivate humility. Second, we might become defensive, jumping to self-justification or blaming. In this case, we need to own our responsibilities and face things head-on. Third, we might “blow up” at the person or group bringing the criticism or become punitive toward the person or group in some way. Here, I think about the admonition in Colossians 3:15 to let the peace of Christ rule or guide in our hearts – and thus in our relationships and interactions. Every response to criticism that comes out of flesh, insecurity, pride, immaturity, and other character deficiencies is harmful to others, to the cause of Christ and to our ministerial effectiveness. Poor and hurtful responses also may shut down future communication with you. As difficult as criticism may be to hear, if you are hearing it, at least there is communication, and you have an opportunity to address it.

As you think about criticism in your own experience, what are some ways you might adjust your responses in order to minimize harm and capitalize on any opportunities found in it?

How to Deal With the Danger of Becoming Jaded

Have you ever gotten so hurt, frustrated, disappointed, or discouraged in the ministry that you began to get angry, hard, bitter, uncaring, or cynical – jaded? I certainly have had my share of challenges, and it can be tempting to drift into a hard demeanor or somehow distance ourselves from the work or the people to guard against hurt or frustration. We are seeing more attention given to the issue of burnout lately, but I think jadedness precedes burnout and poisons ministers and ministries before burnout occurs and, in longer-term situations, when ministers manage to avoid actual burnout but operate with a jaded heart, mind, and spirit. First Peter 5:1-3 (ESV) says, “So I exhort the elders among you, as a fellow elder and a witness of the sufferings of Christ, as well as a partaker in the glory that is going to be revealed: shepherd the flock of God that is among you, exercising oversight, not under compulsion, but willingly, as God would have you; not for shameful gain, but eagerly; not domineering over those in your charge, but being examples to the flock.” Because of the very real possibility of becoming jaded in the ministry, the detrimental effects of becoming jaded, and the manner in which the Word encourages us to carry out our work, I want to offer you some suggestions for how to deal with jadedness in the ministry.

Realize people are people, and God lets them be, even in the church. – The reality is, church people and other Christians will disappoint us, betray us, hurt us, and operate in sinful and Kingdom-harming ways. Further, God works in hearts to shape us into Godliness, but He does not keep people from being un-Godly. Allowing these truths to keep our expectations realistic can help us not become jaded so easily.

Realize your potential for becoming jaded, and remain self-aware. – Some people tend toward cynicism and hardness more than others, but we all have the potential to stray into jadedness. A good practice is to maintain the humility to realize we can stray into this or any other harmful mindset and maintain the self-awareness and honest reflective processes that help us keep an eye on our well-being and mindset.

Spend time in the Word and prayer, dealing honestly with God. – We need to spend time in the Word in a deep, reflective way that allows the Scripture to search our hearts and be a mirror in which we can see ourselves and what might need to be addressed. Along with this humble, honest, reflective Bible time, we need to go before the Lord in humble, honest prayer so He can deal with our heart, mind, and spirit – renewing us, sustaining us, correcting us, and forgiving us when we have strayed into or are heading toward sinful attitudes in response to disappointments and frustrations.

Consider finding a safe context in which to vent, but guard against letting the frustration take root and against saying things that would be harmful. – It may be helpful to have friendships with others with whom you can “blow off steam” without taking it too far or nurturing each other’s potential bitterness. Additionally, we have to guard against giving vent to our feelings within the church in ways the enemy can use to harm the work of the Kingdom.

Cultivate and choose to operate in love for God and your people. – Love is the best motivator for serving the Lord and doing the work of ministry. When our love grows cold, frustration can begin to poison our hearts, but love for the Lord and His people helps us sacrifice and bear up well under the strain and disappointments of ministry.

Stay anchored in your call and sense of purpose. – When we are discouraged and frustrated, we can limit the jadedness in our hearts by staying grounded in the knowledge of what God has called us to do. This can improve our staying-power and perseverance while guarding us from hardness.

When your setting and your purpose don’t line up, ask the Lord to change you, change the people, or change what He has you doing. – We said earlier that God let’s people be people, and sometimes a church chooses a trajectory that just doesn’t fit God’s call on your life and ministry. You may need to enter into a season of prayer in which you ask the Lord to re-shape the hearts of the people, change your understanding of your call and role (at least for the present), show you how to modify your current ministry efforts, or move you to a place or role where you more fully can flesh out your call and gifts in ministry.

As I think about my own experiences and the input of other ministers I interviewed around this topic, it seems nurturing one’s own resilience and caring for one’s own walk with and connection to the Lord are vital components of avoiding a jaded heart and mind or getting out of that place once it has become an issue. More than once, pastors mentioned Elijah and his deep discouragement, experience with God in the wilderness, and the re-set of perspective and renewal of ministry coming from that encounter (1 Kings 19). Those of us in ministry need to maintain our relationship with and reliance on the Lord and cultivate strength without hardness, a “thicker skin” without becoming calloused, and realism without cynicism. If you need practical suggestions for strengthening your well-being please see my other blog entries such as When God is Your Job, Encouragement for Your Ministry, Depending on God in the Ministry, Dealing With Ministry Disappointments, Taking Care of Yourself in the Ministry, The Pastor’s Prayer Life, and How to Grow From Disappointment.

How to Grow From Disappointment

I realize you may or may not be too excited about an article on growing from disappointments, particularly if disappointment has been recent, frequent, or life-shaking. An ill-timed or poorly worded piece of advice or encouragement to use disappointment as an opportunity for development can be frustrating and seem insensitive. Right now, you might simply need a listening ear and an understanding presence, but I would encourage you not to stay in that place too long. Hebrews 12:15 tells us to guard against bitter roots that grow up, and unaddressed disappointments can turn into bitter roots. That said, I want to pick up a theme I highlighted in a previous article on dealing with ministry disappointment. I want to flesh out some ways in which we can handle disappointment in constructive ways that result in growth – honoring God, blessing us and others, and furthering the Kingdom. Our disappointment and the source of it matters, but what we do with that disappointment also matters greatly.

Growing from disappointment requires evaluation, learning, and correction. Without these steps, we will not grow, and we risk further disappointment, as well as other destructive responses. I can’t help but think of Cain and Abel (Genesis 4). Cain was mad because God didn’t receive his offering with favor. He was very disappointed, but God asked him why his face was downcast, suggested he would be received if he did well, warned him about the danger of falling into sin, and told him he needed to master that sin. Cain needed to respond constructively to disappointment, but he responded destructively instead. If we are going to respond well and grow or learn when our faces are downcast from disappointments, I would suggest we need to ask good questions and get honest answers to those questions – questions such as the following:

• What is really going on? – It can be hard to be objective, especially when the sting of disappointment is fresh, but we need to try. You may have understood everything you needed to understand going into the situation, had a great plan, and executed it well, but something went amiss, and you can learn if you can figure out what that was. Or, you might have had gaps in your own thinking or approach. Have you been overly idealistic – expecting too much of yourself, others, or whatever efforts you tried that fell through? Have you not accounted for people’s shortcomings and differences? Is there some lack of understanding about how things work, what God does and does not do, etc.? These answers can help us create better expectations and reduce disappointment in the future.

• Who can help you look at what is really going on, and who needs to be involved in the evaluation, learning, and correction process? – Sometimes, we need a fresh or different perspective, and sometimes other stakeholders need to be brought into the conversation.

• What might be going on that you are unaware of? – How possible is it that there are organizational or relational dynamics you missed or something else God is doing? What do you not know, and what do you not know that you don’t know about the situation?

• What went well? – This is an important question, because even when there is disappointment, there are probably some positive things you can identify.

• What could have gone better? – Look at whatever the situation was, and ask this question about how things were done and how they unfolded.

• What do you want to do differently next time? – Here is where corrections for the future begin to emerge as you make better plans for moving forward.

• What gaps in knowledge, skill, character, or spiritual walk emerged as you evaluated? – Disappointments can happen because of gaps in what we planned, did, wanted, thought, understood, etc. Identifying those gives us learning and growth points – ways we can develop self, others, and the organization we are part of.

• Where can you get the resources to fill in these gaps? How will you do that? – This is where the learning and growth plan begins to emerge so you grow as a person and as a leader.

• What’s beyond this disappointment (opportunities and possibilities)? – To learn, grow, and move forward well, we have to learn to think outside of and beyond the disappointment. The disappointment is not all there is.

• What blessing or blessings have come or can come out of this situation and our response to it? – As hard as it is to hear, it can be a blessing when something doesn’t work out as we had hoped, and it is helpful to find that blessing.

• What response to this disappointment will most honor God, further His Kingdom, mature us, and bless others? – The answers to this question may already have begun to emerge as you answered some of the previous questions, but I think the question needs to be asked specifically.

In a condensed form, let me re-iterate a bit of advice from my earlier article on dealing with disappointment, now that I have given you some specific questions to facilitate growth. These suggestions can help you know what you are hoping to accomplish through your evaluation, learning, and correction. First, grow in wisdom and skill regarding God, self, others, life, ministry (or whatever organization you are part of). Second, grow in your theology and understanding of God’s Word. Some disappointments can be made less painful when we understand more of the Bible and how God wants things to work. Third, grow in personal character and maturity, as well as in your spiritual walk. Finally, grow in grace and love. Disappointments can enrich our appreciation for God’s love and grace, help us receive that love and grace into our own lives, and help us extend God’s love and grace to others.

Note: Coaching is a good way to walk through the types of questions I have mentioned in the process of evaluation, learning, and correction. Feel free to contact me if you are interested in being coached through this sort of process.

Identifying Specific Limiting Beliefs and False Assumptions in Your Church

As you consider your community, what do you think about its composition, your church’s relationship to it, and ways to be more effective for the Kingdom? What does your church think? What beliefs and assumptions guide your ministry and your relationship to the community? To what extent have those beliefs and assumptions been questioned?

Some Limiting Beliefs and False Assumptions – I believe each church needs to examine the beliefs and assumptions guiding its ministry efforts. This allows you to take current wisdom on church effectiveness and contextualize it. Some limiting beliefs and false assumptions include the following:

• No one knows what church is or is about anymore. – In some places this is true, and in others less so. To what extent is it true in your community, and how do you know? Does it not depend on the family background of the people, in some cases the ethnic make-up of the people, the immigrant status of the people in that they may or may not have previous knowledge of church from their country of origin? Similarly, you need to investigate your community’s exposure to and background in faiths other than Christianity.

• Everyone has a negative view of church and Christians and has been hurt by the church. – That people have a negative view of the church, of Christianity, or of your church may be more likely in some communities than others, but what is true in your context? I believe we need to stop making blanket assumptions about how “everyone” feels about Christianity, church, and Christians. We need to be prepared to interact with those who have little concept of church and our faith, as well as those who have a negative attitude toward church and / or Christianity and Christians.

• No one will come to an event at church anymore. – The thinking seems to be that people are intimidated about coming to a church building, thus everything evangelistic must be done off campus. What I have noticed is that, evidently, certain segments of a community may be more likely to attend events than others. So, we need to learn our particular contexts and the segments of our communities before we make assumptions about events.

• Events are the only way or best way to reach people. – Some people are not event attenders, though they may be open to relationships or other forms of ministry and connection. Events, when useful, should be part of an overall strategy, not a stand-alone approach.

• Everyone has a basic knowledge of what church is and who Jesus is – This simply is not the case, but when people make this assumption, they can lay the blame for not reaching their community on the people in the community.

• If we have a nice building and decent programs, people will come. – This assumption goes along with the preceding one. I recall someone asking me why people attend store-front churches that don’t have their own buildings but don’t attend neighborhood churches with buildings. A couple of things could be going on here. One is that, once we have been in a building long enough, we stop seeing that it is not as nice as we thought. Also, churches are about relationships and God’s transforming work, not a building to attend. There are plenty of nice buildings that house decently programmed organizations in our city, but I have no inclination to go to them if I am not interested in their services and don’t know anyone connected with them. The same is true for our communities and churches.

• Assumptions About the Composition of Your Community – Whether we are talking about age break-down, racial profile, education levels, household make-up, socio-economic status, or any number of variables, we sometimes make assumptions about our communities that may not be true. And, those assumptions can be very hard to challenge. I have seen a church cling to its assumptions about the racial composition of its neighborhood despite repeated testimony to the contrary by its pastor who had been in the community meeting people.

• Assumptions About Important Components of the Community – The residents in our communities are not the only components of the community to consider. What about the agencies, institutions, and services in your community? What about the businesses, schools, etc. in your community? Our assumptions about what parts of our community to consider can limit our creativity or help us think more broadly, depending on what those assumptions are.

• Beliefs About Agencies in Your Community – What is the relationship of the city government and its agencies to your community? Do you truly understand this relationship, and are there limiting beliefs about what is available, how the city government relates to your area, etc. that may need to be examined? What if your beliefs and assumptions or those of your church are not correct?

• Beliefs and Assumptions About Prayer – What do you and your church believe about the nature, expressions, and use of prayer as it relates to your community? How might you need to expand the understanding of types or approaches to prayer and the role of prayer in advancing the Kingdom in your community?

This list of limiting beliefs and false assumptions is not exhaustive, but it gives you some things to think about when it comes to leading your church to spread the Gospel and advance God’s Kingdom in your setting. Which of these resonates with you? What limiting beliefs and false assumptions would you add to the list? What might happen if you and your church questioned the beliefs and assumptions you have about your community and how to reach it?

PC: Andy Barlow and Barlow Creative of Rockport, TX

The Pastor's Prayer Life - Part 2

In your ministry and your own life, how central is prayer, and what does your prayer life look like? Ephesians 6:18 (NIV) says, “And pray in the Spirit on all occasions and with all kinds of prayers and requests.” Turning again to With Christ in the School of Prayer, Andrew Murray asserts regarding prayer, “This actual living fellowship with God is a real correspondence and harmony between the Father Who is a spirit and the child praying in the spirit.” Let’s flesh this out as we continue to think about our prayer life.

Prayer’s Place in Your Life and Home – I believe it is vital to have a regular, scheduled time with the Lord. This time should include a focus on Scripture and a season of prayer, and you need to be sure you do not pray to the exclusion of the Word or focus on the Word to the exclusion of prayer. Some days may need to lean more toward one than the other. Make it a time of centering on the Lord and seeking His conviction, refinement, direction, and anointing for the day, as well as interceding for family and personal concerns. You also may need to step aside for shorter times of prayer during the day, and ending the day in prayer that entrusts the day’s work to Him is a great practice. Additionally, we need regular times and special times of getting away from the routines of life and work for more-concentrated prayer – retreats, so-to-speak, even if it is just in a different part of your city where you can spend time with the Lord. Finally, I believe it is important to cultivate a foundation and atmosphere of prayer in your home as a regular part of family life. (For further reading on prayer and other spiritual disciplines, consult works such as The Spirit of the Disciplines by Dallas Willard, Celebration of Discipline by Richard Foster, and Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life by Donald Whitney.)

Prayer’s Power and Depth – The power for prayer comes from the Holy Spirit who stirs our hearts, empowers our praying, and helps us pray. When we have a knowledge of the Word that helps us know God’s heart, along with a life filled with the Spirit, we should find our praying is more powerful. Along with the Lord’s power, our praying needs to have depth, and here are some things you can cultivate to deepen your praying.

• Stillness of heart, mind, and spirit

• Deep listening to the Word, the Spirit, the situation, and those you pray for

• Personal holiness and seriousness of mind

• Intentionality in all things, particularly in seeking the Kingdom

• A sense of stewardship in all things

• Love for God and others

• Humility, an appreciation for grace, and dependence on the Lord

• The practice of fasting in conjunction with times of prayer

Prayer’s Scope – Although prayers of thanks or praise to God and asking things of God are certainly aspects of prayer, here are some additional ways to engage in prayer:

• Contemplative or Meditating Prayer – Sometimes, to focus on the Lord, to focus on an issue, or just to center ourselves, it is good to repeatedly pray a short verse of Scripture or Biblically-true thought or question. Rather than emptying the mind like Eastern meditation, this focuses the mind so the Lord has better access to our spirit.

• Restful Prayer to Wrestling Prayer – The feel and intensity of prayer can run the gamut. At times, you may need to pray in a quiet, restful way as you experience the presence of God, trust in Him, and worship quietly. Or, you may need to call out to the Lord in times of gut-wrenching, lengthy, battling prayer. I find that, most of the time, prayer is somewhere between these extremes.

• Scripture-Based Prayer – Another great approach to prayer is to pray Scripture or pray directly guided by Scripture. For instance, we might pray for our churches those New Testament prayers for the early churches found there. We might pray some Psalms or read certain passages like the Beatitudes and pray those truths over our lives and our people’s lives. Another permutation of this is to pray the truths you have preached for the people, praying they will connect with and live out those principles.

• “Being” Prayer – What I mean is consciously being aware of the Lord, His greatness, and His presence while being very quiet in our minds (or inviting Him into a time of reflection) as we enjoy a calm place or even as we go about our routine. It is an intentional awareness of Him without working to say anything.

• Disposition of Prayer – Here, I am referring to a mindfulness about the presence, person, and agenda of God as we live and serve. This is a cultivated sensitivity of spirit and awareness of the Lord’s Kingdom agenda so that, should He want to prompt or direct, He can and so that our interactions honor Him.

Prayer’s Pitfalls – There are a few difficulties or dangers that can create problems in our prayer life.

• Distraction and Neglect – In our busy society and responsibility-laden roles, we can become so pressed for time that we neglect prayer.

• Discouragement and Doubt – Disappointment and confusion relative to our prayers and the seeming lack of answers can lead to doubt and discouragement that keep us from praying powerfully and even from praying at all.

• Insincerity – When we feel pressured, drained, or disengaged in our work or spiritual life, our prayers may become empty, insincere, and perfunctory.

• Incorrect Balance of Effort – Prayer can be misused as a means of avoiding action, particularly when we find that action unpleasant.

As I think about the pastor’s personal prayer and ministerial prayer life, I believe prayer is an essential means of abiding in Christ that we must intentionally cultivate and maintain. I pray the Lord deepens, broadens, and empowers your prayer life.

“I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.” John 15:5 (ESV)

Photo Credit: Andy Barlow / Barlow Creative of Rockport, TX

The Pastor's Prayer Life - Part 1

One of my favorite verses is John 15:5, in which Jesus teaches that we must abide in close connection with Him as the True Vine to bear fruit. I believe prayer is an important part of abiding, and prayer is vital to ministry efforts. In With Christ in the School of Prayer, Andrew Murray writes, “Prayer is fellowship with the Unseen and Most Holy One. The powers of the eternal world have been placed at prayer’s disposal. It is the very essence of true religion and the channel of all blessings. It is the secret of power and life not only for ourselves, but for others, for the Church, and for the world. It is to prayer that God has given the right to take hold of Him and His strength. It is on prayer that the promises wait for their fulfillment, the Kingdom waits for its coming, and the glory of God waits for its full revelation.”

Prayer in Pastoral Ministry – No one questions prayer is an expected part of pastoral ministry, but, without any assumptions about your work of prayer, I want to suggest practical ways we need to pray beyond worship services, events, and pastoral care settings.

• Pray for your people. – As pastors, we have a responsibility to pray for our people in very specific ways. Praying by name lets us reflect on each person and their spiritual walk, life situation, and ways in which they need the Lord’s touch in their lives. Obviously, pastors of larger churches must break the list down, and you also need to pray specifically for staff, teachers, and volunteer leaders. These seasons of prayer can help you keep a heart of love and concern for your people, help you know how to grow them in Christ and preach to them, and help keep your heart from hardening toward more-challenging members.

• Pray for evangelism and your community. – Regularly and specifically pray for your community and Kingdom progress in it. Ask God to break through spiritual strongholds; pray for people to see the truth of God and the Gospel; pray for hearts to open to spiritual issues and the Gospel; pray for divine appointments to lead people to Christ and disciple existing believers; and pray for your own wisdom and boldness in sharing Christ. You may also pray specifically for the needs of individuals you meet in the neighborhood, and pray for other community agencies and overall efforts to impact your area for Christ. Finally, pray for your people’s disciple-making work in their spheres of influence.

• Pray for the church’s life, issues, and efforts. – On a regular basis, pray for the overall spirit of the church, its Kingdom heart, its direction and well-being, in addition to the specific aspects of its programming and work. Pray specifically and earnestly rather than in broad, general terms. Pray especially for times of worship and preaching / teaching, asking the Lord for direction and empowering and asking the Lord to prepare hearts and move in power.

• Pray for yourself and your work as a pastor. – Make a matter of serious prayer your own fitness for serving the Lord and His people each week. Take to the Lord potential sin, blind spots, your need for wisdom and strength, your heart for the people, and even pastoral characteristics and qualifications found in Scripture.

Increasing Prayer’s Effectiveness – We obviously want our prayer efforts to be impactful, and there are some Biblical strategies for increasing prayer’s effectiveness.

• Pray according to the Bible (2 Timothy 3:16-17). – If the Bible is our guide for living and serving God, it makes sense to line our praying up with God’s Word.

• Pray in the Holy Spirit (Jude 20) – Given the Spirit’s work, it makes sense that a close connection with Him, which allows for His guidance and empowering, would increase prayer’s effectiveness.

• Pray from a righteous heart and life (John 15:5-17 & 1 John 3:21-24) – Scripture connects effective prayer with righteousness in our walk with the Lord and others.

• Pray from a place of confession and forgiveness (James 5:16b & 1 John 1:9) – A corollary to the previous point is that, when we realize we are not right with the Lord, we need to repent and get right.

Removing Prayer’s Hindrances – Our praying can seems hindered or ineffective for several reasons. Sometimes we simply do not see the answers; it is not the right time for the answers; God’s plans vary from what we have asked; or people have hardened hearts that prevent God from moving like He wants to. But there are actual hindrances.

• Sin (Psalm 66:18) – Sin in our lives that we have not confessed to God and repented of can hinder our prayers and God’s willingness and ability to answer them.

• Unforgiveness (Mark 11:25) – How are your relationships with others? Un-forgiveness violates God’s heart and hinders His forgiveness of us.

• Self-Focus and Wrong Motives (James 4:2b-3) – We need to look at why we pray what we pray to make sure it is actually for God’s glory and Kingdom advancement.

• Doubt (James 1:5-8) – Sometimes, God becomes too small in our eyes, and we lack faith or confidence when we pray.

• Lack of Seriousness and Discipline (1 Peter 4:7) – Without being critical of humor and fun, I believe this Scripture clearly calls us to a sober way of thinking and to self-discipline, and it connects these to effective prayer. In what ways do you need to increase your sober-mindedness and self-discipline?

• Family Issues (1 Peter 3:1-7) – The prayer-specific verse in this passage addresses a husband’s prayers and treatment of his wife, but I suspect other family issues hinder prayer also.

As I mentioned earlier, I write without any assumptions about your current ministry of prayer and the ways in which you call on the Lord on behalf of His work. My goal is to encourage you in a clear plan for the work. In my next post, I will look at our personal prayer lives, as well as issues of deepening our prayer and broadening its scope.

“I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.” John 15:5 (ESV)

Photo Credit: Andy Barlow / Barlow Creative of Rockport, TX

Knowing What to Keep and What to Throw Away

Have you ever cleaned out your garage, closet, attic, or filing cabinet? When you have done research-based writing, weren’t there more sources than you actually used? I have gone through things in my garage, clothes in my closest, and more articles and books than I care to think about, and the question is the same – “What do I throw away, and what do I keep?” It seems this issue finds expression – whether more or less consciously – all the time and in every realm of existence. Although tangible things like documents and possessions, clothes, research materials, or cards help us get a handle on the idea, there are many less-tangible things we must sort through and make decisions about to be most effective in life and leadership.

Major Areas for the Keep or Throw Away Decision – Before we look at principles for making the decision, what are some things about which we make the decision to keep them or throw them away?

• Things we are Given and Things we Come Across – Playing cards, there are the ones I am dealt, then there are the ones in the draw / discard piles. Some things I am handed – my traits, family traditions, life experiences, how I was brought up. I can’t change these things, but I get to decide what to do with them. Then, there are things I come across – ideas, opportunities, influences – and I have to decide whether to take them in or let them pass by. As you grew up, there may be some very positive things you learned, while other things may have been destructive. As you encounter various ways of thinking, living life, ministering, working, etc., some will be helpful, while others will not.

• Beliefs, Assumptions, and Mental Models – I am a strong believer in evaluation, and part of evaluation is identifying and examining our beliefs, assumptions, and mental models about God, self, others, and how things work in various areas of life. These sometimes conscious and others times unconscious ways of thinking come from various places and either help or hinder us and God’s purposes for us and others. From time to time, we need to ask some honest questions about our thinking and make some decisions about what to keep and what to throw away.

• Actions, Habits, Practices, and Strategies – On the personal level, there are things you do, ways you do them, habits you have formed, and strategies for doing life and work. I suspect some are positive, while others are detrimental. Your organization and your home are the same way. There are certain actions, habits, programs (in organizations), and strategies in use. These need to be examined, because not everything is useful, nor is everything still useful that once was. Some things need to be kept without modification, while others need to be retained and improved, and still others need to be eliminated.

Constructing and Using a Mental Sieve – When I was a boy, I helped my grandparents put in an above ground pool. After the ground was cleared, we needed a layer of fine dirt so nothing would puncture the plastic pool lining, but we didn’t go buy a load of sand. Instead, my grandfather used boards and screen to build a sieve. One person would throw a shovel full of dirt into it, and two others would shake it back and forth. This would allow the good dirt to pass through while keeping out the rocks and clods. Deciding what to keep and what to throw away requires us to build and use a sort of mental sieve. As you think about a source of information, a thought or action, a theological position, a tradition, a program, or any other issue, here are some questions you might use to filter and make decisions.

• How does the truth of Scripture inform this decision? – Any personal tendency, attitude, idea, church program, etc. must pass the test of God’s Word. How often do we keep things that simply are un-Biblical or throw away things Scripture calls for?

• What is the return on investment or cost-to-benefit in this decision? – When we think about keeping some action, attitude, practice, or program, what does it require in resources of time, effort, money? When we think about throwing away some program, habit, or anything else, what is the prospective cost of discarding it versus the benefit?

• What is the usefulness to the glory and Kingdom of God in this decision? – When sorting through things, do they glorify God and further the Kingdom, or do they dishonor God and detract from the Kingdom?

• Does it answer to and further the mission and vision? – When you think about where you, your family, and your church (or other organization) is heading and what your assigned task or mission is, does this idea, action, attitude, or program move toward the vision and help execute the mission, or does it not? To what extend does it further the mission and vision if at all?

What I am getting at is the need to work through things, asking whether or not they are true and whether or not they are beneficial, so long as we look at truth and benefit from God’s perspective. I believe this process, intentionally and accurately applied, will help us increase our peace, joy, and effectiveness at living life and honoring God in every area.

Photo Credit: Andy Barlow / Barlow Creative of Rockport, TX

How to Improve Teaching Effectiveness

As we conclude this series of articles by examining the work of teaching, let me ask a few more questions. Whether in the church setting or not, what are some of your best memories of teachers and teaching? What formal or informal teaching approaches most helped you learn and grow, and what made the difference? As you teach, to what extent do the shape and nature of your text and the goal of your teaching determine how you arrange and present the material? How do you come at the subject and invite your listeners to participate with you in hearing from the text and the Lord? How do you guide your hearers to integrate the learning into their lives? Keeping in mind what we have found in the first three articles, here are a few suggestions for increasing our teaching effectiveness.

The Nature of Teaching – How would you describe teaching, and what should be the goal of teaching? How do your learners understand the nature and goal of teaching? I believe teaching is a work of facilitating learning rather than conveying information, and I believe the goal of teaching should be transformation and overall growth in Christ-likeness rather than the recollection of facts or even the ability to state the theoretical application of those facts.

The Relationship of Teaching to the Overall Church Purpose – In our first article, I pointed out that teaching is only one function in the overall work of the church and thus, only part of how the church makes Christ-like followers of Jesus. So, let’s look at teaching in relationship to the larger purpose. First, formation in Christ may be facilitated through every aspect of the church’s life and function, and traditionally-conceptualized teaching times (Sunday school, small groups, discipleship meetings) may be used to help learners process the various aspects of church life in relationship to the Scriptures and to overall Christian formation. Second, a safe teaching context may be used as a sort of Biblical laboratory where we use life experience and church experiences as the real-world material for exploring our Biblical knowledge and the integration of Biblical teaching to life and church. [Note: there are more and less “safe” groups for doing this and more or less “safe” levels of disclosure and subjects of conversation.] Third, teaching may be worked into other church functions and settings. For instance, envision a deacon meeting, finance committee meeting, or other setting where an issue is discussed. Now, think about how you might teach asking something like, “What do we know from God’s Word that helps us understand this issue, and what we might do about it?” or “What action on this issue is most true to God’s Word and what we believe about Christian life?” You may also have to address some issue with direct Biblical correction in some private or public interaction. My experience has been that people tend to leave Biblical learning in the Sunday school room even though we Baptists claim to use the Bible as our guide.

Mental Models, Basic Assumptions, and Prior Knowledge – Learners bring certain things to the learning experience. Their prior knowledge and experiences shape how they hear and interact with the material, the Lord, each other, and you. They have subconscious and conscious understandings about how things work, how the Bible should or should not address life, what is and is not true, etc. Allow for these, and help learners surface and articulate them so the learning material and discoveries have a better chance of having an impact. One example of this issue, although by far not the only manifestation of it, is the reality that some people tend to think there is one lesson for any given passage, even though Scripture is much richer than that.

The Beauty of Interaction – One of the great things about teaching, is that it can be discussion-based and interactive. This does not mean Bible study should be an unguided time of voicing equally accepted ideas of what each person feels a certain passage says to him or her. As a professor of mine used to say, “Any passage says one thing. It does not say one thing to you and something else to me.” The passage may impact us differently, as it meets us at different places in life and experience, but it says one thing. A teacher needs to convey (or facilitate discovery of) what a passage says, along with helpful background information and learning supports, but you facilitate deeper learning by guiding interaction with the text and the subject. Questions, discussion, and other learning activities come help the teacher and learners surface mental models and assumptions, discover why they need what the passage is teaching, and lay their lives and church alongside the principles to develop faithfulness in Christian life. So, discussion should not consist simply of asking learners to give information or basic application. It should have learners identify and interact with the Biblical principles, ideally relating them to other Biblical principles, evaluating life based on those principles, and constructing a Biblical approach to life and church. One final note about interactive teaching – you need to arrange the teaching space to be conducive to interaction.

Formative Assessment and Summative Assessment – Formative assessment happens at the front end of teaching and consists of discovering relevant prior knowledge, mental models, and assumptions brought to the learning context. Summative assessment is finding out, at the end of the teaching time, how effective the teaching was as gauged by learners’ grasp of the truths in accordance with your teaching objectives. In an ongoing teaching context, summative assessment is formative assessment because it tells you what needs to be addressed moving forward. As you think about assessment, avoid closed-ended questions, as they do not elicit as helpful of responses as do open-ended questions.

I want to encourage you to be a learning teacher. There is so much more you can research that will help you teach more effectively. You may want to read about such topics as age-appropriate teaching methods, creative teaching strategies, learning styles, concrete vs. abstract thinkers, inductive vs. deductive teaching, the use of different types of media, and how to set up a teaching space for optimum learning.

Photo Credit: Cover photo used by permission of Andy Barlow of Barlow Creative of Rockport, TX

How to Improve Preaching Effectiveness

Before I make some suggestions about effective preaching, let me ask a few questions. To what extent do the shape and nature of your text and the goal of your preaching determine how you arrange and present the material? How do you come at the subject and invite your listeners to participate with you in hearing from the text and the Lord? How do you guide your hearers to make Biblical responses to the message? Keeping in mind what we already have said in the previous two articles, here are some additional ideas specifically for preaching, although they can be used in teaching contexts as well.

Let the nature of the passage shape your approach to it. – Is the passage narrative, teaching, history, poetry, prayer, or some other literary form? I believe we limit our preaching when we always structure sermons didactically, even when the passage is not primarily a teaching passage. Every passage teaches us something, and sometimes teaching is necessary to facilitate understanding, but not every sermon has to be structured like a Bible-study lesson. There are other ways to help hearers experience the passage and even let the passage help them express themselves to God when we do not force a traditional teaching approach onto every text.

Re-frame how you think about sermon flow. – One suggestion I encountered in seminary was to conceptualize the portions of the sermon more as movements than as outline points. A variation of this idea is to have the movements of the sermon be portions of one, overall sentence that expresses the sermon thesis. It can be helpful to do this in preparation time even if it is not how you end up stating your points. The idea is to have better continuity of thought and overall cohesion of the main message rather than distinct portions of an argument or presentation that hearers have to keep up with. Additional ideas include inductive preaching and something called “running the text,” where you simply preach through the passage in more of a running flow rather than an outlined structure.

Re-tool how you outline the sermon. – If you are use an outline, I think it is helpful to avoid alphanumeric designations, since these can lend themselves to your own sense of sequential thinking rather than simple, organic sermon flow. I use bold type for main points then differing bullet styles and indentations for each level of thought. Still considering how you outline your sermon, think about how you lay it out on the page. Some time ago, I realized I was looking at my notes way too much. Some preach without notes, but another strategy for freeing yourself from your notes is twofold. First, make your notes more cryptic so they are thought prompters rather than whole thoughts. Second, use large enough font and line spacing that you can simply glance down at the notes and read them easily. The more eye contact you have with your audience the better.

Guide hearers toward sermon responses throughout the sermon. – Don’t wait until the invitation to begin asking people to respond or to suggest how they might respond. You can work prompts and suggested decisions and responses into the sermon. Although not the only way to do this, I tend to use transitions after the introduction and the major sections of the sermon to prepare hearers to respond. I might say something like, “At the close of this message, we will pray together about [content idea you just presented], and you will / may want to [content appropriate response suggestion].” Tailor your own wording to your content, and you can be more or less directive (as appropriate to your audience), but the idea is to prime hearers for response throughout the sermon. A variant is to use questions rather than suggestion or direction statements. Then, in your conclusion, instead of re-capping your content, you can ask content-appropriate reflection questions that set up your hearers for the responses you will guide them through in the invitation prayer time – responses you have already prepared them to make during the preaching. 1

Provide hearers with some sort of listening guide. – Because of what I believe about preaching and its goals, I make this suggestion cautiously. The typical listening guide uses a fill-in-the-blank format that focuses hearers on information. Don’t do that. Use questions that push hearers toward identifying principles and evaluating life and making decisions based on those truths. For example, you might use three or four questions such as the following and in this order. 1) What major principle am I hearing in this sermon? 2) If this is what the Bible teaches, what does this principle affirm in my life, home, or church? 3) What does this principle correct or call for in my life, home, or church? 4) What practical step can I take to live according to this truth more fully? You can adjust this, but we need to help hearers move past information to life change, and listening guides of some nature can help people connect with your message and remember what God has spoken to them about. I do not think they are always appropriate, but it is a tool worth considering.

Evaluate your preaching. – If you do not already record or video your preaching, find a way to do so from time-to-time. Then, on occasion, listen or watch yourself. Pay attention to your content, delivery, etc. as if you are in the congregation. I think you will notice things to affirm and things to correct. An added layer is to have a trusted friend or colleague listen or watch and give you feedback.

As I reflect on what I am suggesting, I am reminded that we need to maintain the healthy tension between human preparation, using what we know about communication, and the supernatural work of God in the preparation and the preaching event. This calls for excellence and intentional effort, as well as humble dependence on the Lord. May He bless and use our preaching of His Word to further His Kingdom for His glory!

1. Although I have not shared this concept directly from other sources (and have modified it with my own suggestion), I learned it from a conversation and some reading on the preaching strategy of Dr. Richard A. Jackson, Pastor Emeritus of North Phoenix Baptist Church.

Photo Credit: Cover photo used by permission of Andy Barlow of Barlow Creative of Rockport, TX

How to Improve Preaching and Teaching Effectiveness - Part 2

In my last post, I made some suggestions about the nature of preaching and teaching and offered some ways of thinking about those tasks that might help increase our effectiveness. Now, let’s look at some more specific ideas. I want to use my approach in the previous post to get into our subject. How did I engage you in the subject of preaching and teaching effectiveness? At what point did I begin to make suggestions and claims? How did I help you prepare for my suggestions? If you recall, I began by asking you about your own experience of preaching and teaching effectiveness. I did this to help you engage with the subject and see its importance to you so that we might discern a gap or a knowledge need which I would help fill later. My second step was to ask you not only about your present preaching and teaching effectiveness but to ask you about prior experiences of preaching and teaching so that you would begin to surface your own understanding of the subject, as well as your prior knowledge. In short, the first two sections focused on creating an appetite for the new material and helping you create mental space for my input in order to evaluate the suggestions and potentially integrate them into your existing understanding and practice. Finally, I began making suggestions. I believe that our preaching and our teaching would benefit from this sort of approach that takes into account hearers’ prior knowledge, helps them see the need for the information or new learning, and helps them create mental space for that knowledge so they might integrate it better.

Let me begin with suggestions that apply to preaching and teaching. The first few come from the perspective of a pastor, while the others come from the field of education.

• Keep in mind that preaching and teaching are a matter of sacred partnership between you and the Lord and a cooperative effort with the people. Neither may be done adequately apart from the Lord’s empowering work.

• Stay aware of the seriousness of handling God’s Word and the stewardship of the Word and the message or lesson, as well as the hearers and their response to the Scriptures and to God based on what you preach and teach.

• Be committed to prayer for the preaching and teaching. Pray over your own life, potential sin that could hurt your effectiveness, God’s anointing for the work, and the understanding and application of the passage and its truths in your life. Pray for the hearers and for God to work powerfully in the preaching and teaching times. Recruit prayer support for the preaching and teaching if you can.

• Wrestle with the Scripture yourself, refusing to keep it “at arm’s length.” Before you ask the “So what?” for your hearers, ask it for yourself. Insist on going deeper than information, to the level of life principles. Evaluate your life according to what you find, and make it a matter of response and prayer.

• In preaching, stay aware of the difference between the message and the sermon – the heart of what is to be conveyed and the form it takes. In teaching, stay aware of the difference between the heart of the lesson and the teaching form or strategy.

• Teach the people how to use the Bible and how to respond to it in prayer by example. For instance, as appropriate, indicate the context of passages and how the ideas in those passages interact with other parts of Scripture. Also, in your closing prayer times, lead the people in prayer that includes responses to and application of the principles in the text.

I would be happy to share with you some of the education theory behind the following suggestions, but, for now, I will draw upon that field of study simply to make some suggestions about how we preach and teach. Obviously, some of these can be fleshed out more fully in teaching environments than in preaching contexts.

• Familiarize yourself with Bloom’s Taxonomy and think about how it relates to your preaching, teaching, and other discipleship efforts. If you are not familiar with this tool, it is a hierarchy of progressive stages of learning and using knowledge. I would suggest we need to help our people work toward the higher levels of understanding and knowledge use.

• Begin your preaching and teaching with questions that prompt your hearers to identify and reflect on their own experience with the subject and / or passage. Statements may be used, but they tend to be less effective.

• Early in the lesson or sermon, incorporate appropriate questions regarding frustrations or challenges your hearers have faced, are facing, or may face relative to the topic and / or passage.

• Communicate in a manner that conveys collegiality as a fellow learner and makes appropriate application of the principles for yourself and your hearers. [Caution: Be very judicious here. Do not share doubts, struggles, or other information that Satan might use to harm the faith or walk of your hearers, and be aware that different audiences, age groups, and settings call for differing levels of openness and sharing. Collegiality can open doors with some people, while with others it may undercut your leadership or make them think you are talking about yourself too much.]

• Ask your hearers to reflect on what you have shared and how that challenges or reinforces their own understanding of the topic, as well as how the principles might be implemented in the their own lives and life settings.

• Consider using the preaching and teaching content as the subject for discussions in other settings, and look for opportunities to apply the Word, including what has been preached and taught, in the larger life and work of the church.

1. How does what I have presented align with or differ from your current understanding of and approach to preaching and teaching?

2. Which of these ideas would you like to implement in our own practice?

3. What are some practical steps you can take to do this?

4. What obstacles will you need to overcome in order to implement these ideas?