In my last blog, I began addressing the difference that can exist between your understanding of the pastor’s work and the church’s understanding of it. Reasons include the age disparity between you and older members, the maturity of an elder and your life stage, your lack of history in the community and church, Baptist doctrine and polity, church size, and church culture. Now, let’s look at how you might respond to the situation.
In 1 Timothy 4:12, the Apostle Paul writes, “Let no one look down on your youthfulness, but rather in speech, conduct, love, faith and purity, show yourself an example of those who believe” (NASB). Here are some practical suggestions for putting his counsel into practice.
Handle the Word with excellence. – In your preaching and teaching, as well as your decision-making, counseling, and suggestions to the church and its members, use God’s Word with excellence and accuracy. Also, learn what the Bible says about doing church and life, and rely on Scripture rather than opinion in your work. If you look through the Bible not only for verses that address the church directly, but also for verses that teach guiding principles of wisdom, business, relational interactions, etc., you will find a wealth of guidance for the local church.
Be a person of integrity in life and ministry. – Your own life and ministry need to reflect the truth of God’s Word in every area. Live above reproach and maintain a good reputation (1 Timothy 3:2, 7; Titus 1:6-7).
Be a person of humble confidence in and through Jesus. – In an earlier blog, I discussed the relationship between confidence and humility. Humility in light of your lack of history at the church, others’ life experiences, etc. should earn respect with your church.
If you are inclined toward insecurity or defensiveness, seek the Lord’s healing and, if needed, get outside help to overcome it. – Insecurity and defensiveness lead us to resist the input of others, but wisdom directs us to have teachable spirits. Your people can be a rich source of counsel, alternate perspectives, and general knowledge you need and the church can benefit from. Additionally, insecurity and defensiveness may lead you to respond to people and situations in destructive and immature ways, harming the work of the Kingdom and costing you credibility and leadership capital with the people.
Love the people deeply and pray for them by name regularly. – Obviously, praying over all your people regularly is easier in a smaller congregation, but love for your people leads to prayer for them, and prayer for them can lead to understanding and connecting with them better. The Lord can create love in your heart even when your church is quite challenging. I recall, during a particularly trying season in a previous church, asking the Lord to love the people through me, and He did just that. People sense when you love them, and it will help them let you be their pastor.
Build relationships of respect and be consistent in how you relate to each person. – Pastoral leadership scholars point out the relational nature of pastoring God’s people, and the need for relational connections for leadership makes intuitive sense in a voluntary organization like a church. As for consistency, we live in a chaotic world, and what people receive from you in your interactions with them does not need to be one of those chaotic, unpredictable pieces of their world. Consistency also builds trust. Finally, Wayne Oates, in his classic The Christian Pastor, highlights the symbolic role of the pastor. You represent Christ to the people and the community, and, although you don’t want to be fake with people (i.e. when we are ill or going through trials), we represent a God who is consistent, so you and I need to be consistent.
Realize role expectation differences may exist. – When you and I deal honestly with the possibility that our role expectations and the church’s may differ, we can work to learn those expectations and areas of disagreement in order to navigate them wisely with grace and care.
Learn the history of the church. – When you first go to a church, read its historical documents and its governing documents, but also ask for and listen to its stories. Do not allow story-telling visits to devolve into gossip, and keep in mind people tell stories with their own biases and agendas. Nevertheless, you need to understand where this congregation has walked and how that might affect its relationships with its pastors.
Discern between legitimate and illegitimate suggestions church members give you. – Ideally, when you go to a church, you will find one person or a few people who want you to succeed and have the best interests of you and the church in mind. These people can be invaluable sources of wisdom and insight. However, there also may be people who do not want you to succeed, and these may provide you suggestions or feed you information in a manner calculated to trap you or lead you to make a leadership or ministry mistake. We have to have wisdom and discernment to know the difference.
Acknowledge the potential issues I listed at the beginning of this post and think through, pray through, and get mentoring in order to handle them well. – Pastoring is by no means a one-size-fits-all endeavor. You and your church bring history, assumptions, and goals to the table as you seek to fill your role. Assumptions may have to be clarified; regular evaluation is important; and pastoral and leadership advice you get from various sources may need to be contextualized, modified, or discarded in your particular setting.
I realize you may see all these suggestions as too much to keep up with and a distraction from simply preaching the Word and pointing people to Jesus. However, I believe these strategies for the pastor are somewhat analogous to checking your mirrors and maintaining awareness of traffic around you while driving. The longer you practice them, the more natural they become, and they will help you navigate your journey more effectively. The Lord bless you as you serve your people.