When You're the Pastor but You're Not - Part 1

Do you ever feel your understanding of your role and the church’s understanding of your role are at odds? One of the earliest lessons in my first pastorate was that the title “Pastor” did not mean the same thing to me that it meant to the church. I believe this can be especially true in small, Baptist churches when you are very young. I would like to make some suggestions as to why this sometimes is the case and how to navigate it in such a way that you do not become overly frustrated or discouraged and do not harm your church.

Some Reasons for the Confusion – I do not know what your experience has been, but I found the experience of being the pastor, while seemingly not being allowed to function as such, confusing and frustrating. I felt God held me accountable for the church (as per Scripture). I saw strong pastoral leadership and solid followership modeled in my childhood church. And, the people had voted to call me as their pastor. So, what was the problem, and what may be the issue in your case? Here are some suggestions.

  • The Maturity of an Elder – Although Baptists use the term “pastor,” the predominant New Testament term is “elder.” This connotes being seasoned and mature. You may love Jesus, handle the Word with integrity, live uprightly, and love your people, but when we are very young, we still have some maturing to do. Older church members understand this. It may lead some to resist your leadership, but it may lead others to come alongside you and encourage you as you grow as a minister.

  • Age Disparity – When I went to my first pastorate, I was only two years older than the grandson of a lady in her early 60s, and I had members in their 90s. When you want to lead people and you are as young or younger than their grandchildren, you will need a very special ability to earn respect and leadership capital.

  • Priesthood of the Believer and Baptist Polity – Priesthood of the believer asserts each person can interpret Scripture and relate to God apart from a mediator, so we tend to be a bit defensive about letting pastors guide our churches. Sometimes, members are afraid this violates priesthood of the believer, and in some cases, pastors do violate priesthood of the believer in their leadership approach. Additionally, our congregations are governed democratically, which means powerful political influencers may and do exercise leadership, whether or not the pastor is afforded a measure of influence.

  • Lack of History in the Community and the Church – This may be different in city churches, but in rural seminary churches, you are there for a short time, and your people have often been in the community and the church for decades and will be there long after your departure. This may lend itself to a “wait out this pastor since he will be gone soon enough” attitude. It may also lead to the congregation having an established leadership person or group to give the church continuity across its succession of short-term pastors.

  • The Church Culture – From the church’s understanding of what a pastor’s job is to potential negative experiences with poor pastors in the past, a church may have a culture in which pastor’s are neither allowed nor expected to lead. Therefore, you are more chaplain and preacher than pastor.

  • The Church Size – Both research and common sense suggest churches of differing sizes call for differing types of pastoral ministry and leadership. You may have grown up in a large church where you experienced staff and / or pastoral direction of the church at-large (or at least in many of its functions). However, you may be called to serve in a church where little administrative coordination is needed by the pastor, strong lay leadership, and a grassroots system of communication and leadership.

Obviously, there are several reasons you might experience a situation where you feel your church does not allow you to function as you believe your calling and position suggest. Due to space, I will simply make a few suggestions for addressing this issue here and will elaborate in a later post.

  • Live with integrity in your life and ministry.

  • Love the people deeply and pray for them regularly by name.

  • Build relationships of respect and be consistent in how you relate to each person.

  • Handle the Word with excellence.

  • Be a person of humility.

  • If you have any inclination toward insecurity or defensiveness, seek the Lord’s healing and, if needed, get outside help to overcome it.

  • Realize expectation differences may exist; learn the history of the church; and acknowledge the potential issues I mentioned earlier in this post.

Over the past 20 years, I have served as pastor of three very different churches, and in each, I had to earn leadership capital and learn the church culture and pastoral expectations. May the Lord be with you as you navigate your call and your church’s culture.