Pastor, how are you doing – no, really – how are you in each area of your life? If you were to brainstorm the subject, what are the various aspects of self-care? How would you rate your well-being and level of functioning physically, intellectually, emotionally, relationally, and spiritually? Of these areas, which stands out to you? Some time ago, as I wrote about balance in our lives and work (a better expression would be allotment of effort and attention), I mentioned self-care. In the next several posts, I want to deal with this subject more fully.
What comes to mind when I mention self-care? What is your automatic reaction, and what are the ways in which you tend to think about the subject? Let' me explore some possibilities with you as we work together on this issue.
Self-Care is “Soft” – I suspect this is more of an issue with older ministers, but you may think, “Only sissies think about and need to attend to such things. Just keep going.”
Self-Care is Theologically or Biblically Inappropriate – Some may feel the Bible calls us to serve selflessly in such a way that attending to self is antithetical to Scripture and the sacrifice of Kingdom ministry.
I Know What Needs Attention and I Don’t Want More Guilt – If this is you, I hope to encourage you rather than shaming you into action.
Some Things Need Attention, and I Would Like to Deal With Them – I suspect many of us would respond this way. We may face some barrier, need a better plan, or feel we simply cannot make those areas a priority right now.
I conceptualize the issue of self-care in several ways I believe are consistent with Scripture and the realities of daily life. Let me share some of those with you.
Stewardship – For me, everything is a matter of stewardship. God created and owns all that is, and He has entrusted it to us for our use according to His guidance with accountability to Him. How I handle my physical, intellectual, emotional, relational, and spiritual well-being is a matter of stewardship.
Worship – Romans 12:1-2 tells us to offer ourselves as living sacrifices as worship to God. Further, Malachi 1 tells us to offer God the best sacrifice we can. So, if we are offering ourselves and our service to God as worship, we need to be at our best so we give Him our best.
Continuation and Quality – We want to be able to serve God and others with quality for as long as God intends. If we do not care for ourselves and maintain our well-being, both the longevity and the quality of our ministry will suffer.
Appropriate Attention – As we think about self-care, we need to avoid the extreme of neglecting it on one hand or allowing the focus on self-care or a specific part of it to dominate our attention on the other. Ministry is work, and we have to avoid half-stepping in the name of self-care while simultaneously guarding against failure because we do not take care of our well-being.
Although I have attempted not to borrow from others’ work here, I have been exposed to this combination of self-care elements in this order training through Tarrant Baptist Association in Ft. Worth, TX – material they adapted from Tom Paterson’s book Living the Life You Were Meant to Live. I also have been exposed to several of these aspects of self-care in material used for ministry student coursework by Dr. Vicki Vaughn while teaching at Howard Payne University. So, let me ask, what are the main areas of self-care? Are you more aware of some than others? Let me suggest five, and for each of these, ask yourself what self-care involves in your life and where your current trajectory in that area will lead you.
Physical – This area includes the totality of our bodily function and well-being.
Intellectual – From overall mental acuity and study for our vocation to non-vocational interests, this is the mental aspect of our being.
Emotional – Are you aware of your emotions, and do you have a Biblical and appropriate emotional response to people and situations?
Relational – How are your relationships with family members, church members, and friends? Do you have a sense of well-being in this aspect of your life?
Spiritual – As ministers, we may assume ministry work nourishes us spiritually, but we can become empty if we do not replenish our souls.
I think about self-care like I think about the truck I drive. It needs regular care and preventative maintenance. From time to time, something breaks or wears out, and it needs special attention. I want to enjoy driving it for a long time, so there are things I need to do along the way – some in response to the truck’s indicators but most before a warning light ever comes on.
As you think about self-care, what areas in your life could use attention because you know it needs work for you to be your best for God?
What aspects of your life, if unaddressed, will produce results you do not want?
What obstacles prevent giving attention to your well-being?
What would help you overcome these obstacles?
What assumptions get in the way of adequate self-care in your life?
In each of these areas, what is one thing you want to be able to say 90 days from now that you cannot say today?
*If you would like personal coaching as you think through these things, I am available to do that, and you can find my contact information on the “Contact” page of this website.