How does criticism affect you and your ministry? Does it depend on the nature of the criticism and who criticizes you? What types of criticism have you encountered? Criticism is a predictable part of serving the Lord’s people, and dealing with it effectively and constructively is crucial. Criticism can help you, wrongly control you, or cripple you. The manner in which you respond to criticism can grow you and your leadership or destroy your influence and hurt your church.
Some Broad Observations About Criticism – Let’s begin with some broad observations about the nature and source of criticism.
Some criticism is offered directly to you, but other criticism is offered by one party to another about you. On the other hand, a person may offer you clear criticism on some point, or that person may offer implied criticism, and you must decide what the issue actually is and how to respond.
There are various motives for criticism. Sometimes, criticism is offered in a genuine attempt to help you grow as a minister or succeed in your congregation. It may be a genuine, loving attempt to help you. However, criticism also may be leveled against you to harm you, to manipulate you, or to further someone’s agenda in the church.
There are varied reasons for criticism. Sometimes we get criticized because we misstep – based on Biblical or policy expectations or based on the unwritten expectations of a church or church member. Other times, the criticism is not about that for which you are criticized. There may be an underlying issue that may or may not have anything to do with you and may or may not have anything to do with what you actually are criticized for.
Preparing for Criticism – Before we look at how to process and handle criticism, let me suggest some preventative and preparatory measures.
Understand criticism is part of working with people.
Cultivate in yourself the high regard for ministry and the familiarity with and obedience to the Bible that will help you be a person of Biblical obedience and ministerial excellence.
Cultivate your sense of identity in Jesus and a teachable spirit. Finding your worth in Jesus frees you from being crippled by criticism, but a teachable spirit lets you learn from others’ critiques and perspectives.
Understand criticism is not a badge of honor, and it does not automatically mean you are doing the right thing when you are criticized, just as it does not automatically mean you are doing things right when there is no criticism.
If insecurity, defensiveness, and / or pride are part of your way of relating to people, deal with these traps. They will lead you to mishandle criticism.
Dealing With Criticism – For a helpful treatment of the malicious, destructive patterns of antagonists, read Antagonists in the Church: How to Identify and Deal With Destructive Conflict by Kenneth C. Haugk. For everyday criticism, I have found these approaches helpful.
Strike a balance between giving the criticism too little attention and giving it too much. Every criticism provides an opportunity to double-check your work with honest questions about your performance. The level of attention may depend on whether the criticism is anonymous or not and the subject of the criticism. For instance, is it a doctrinal, legal, or moral issue, or is it a matter of personal style and taste? Does the issue concern written or unwritten church expectations or simply those of the individual critic?
Try not to respond to the criticism immediately. Give yourself room to regain your footing, pray for peace and wisdom, and possibly mention the criticism to a wise and trusted confidant who can be a sounding board for you and help you be objective.
Ask yourself what the criticism communicates about the person offering it, and try to discern whether the criticism is the real issue or if there is a deeper issue to address.
What is the most Biblical, redemptive, and constructive way to handle the person and the criticism as concerns the church, the Gospel, the critic, and your ministry?
Depending on the nature of the criticism and the heart of the critic or critics, you may need to ask some clarifying questions, but be careful not to convey defensiveness, timidity, or any other response that would exacerbate the problem, cost you credibility, or give undue power to the critic or critics.
Please note that the above are not an exhaustive treatment of our subject, nor are these suggestions given in a set order. On some occasions, you will need immediately to ask something like, “Can you clarify what you mean?” or “Can you help me understand your concern better?” On other occasions, you need to create space. In still other circumstances, you need to brush it off with a quick evaluation to make sure you haven’t truly erred and move on, loving the person in the Lord and faithfully doing your job.
What are some of the most common criticisms or types of criticism you have encountered?
Are there some constructive responses to criticism I have missed and you would like to add?
(Photo: Jeep Calvert Photography)