Some time ago, I spent a few days “chewing” on a question and asked several people to think about it with me – "What is the relationship between confidence and humility?" Part of the reason was an apparent disparity between the confident, assertive tendencies of pastors who have influence and grow and lead churches successfully and the humility the Bible seems to demand of Christians. Additionally, I have seen pastors and other ministers so full of themselves they were unpleasant to be around, and I have seen humility express itself as tentativeness that failed to earn respect and achieve results.
Let me pose some additional questions before I share my conclusions and the input of my friends.
What is your mental picture of confidence and of humility?
Does one seem more like you than the other? Does one seem better to you than the other?
What does our culture say? From what you know of the Bible, what does it say that might help us understand this relationship?
Can a person be confident and humble at the same time, or are these characteristics mutually exclusive? As one increases, does the other one automatically decrease?
What have you seen produced in people’s lives by humility . . . by confidence?
Next time you get in your vehicle, look at the thermostat. Unless it’s digital, it may have all red on one end and all blue on the other, with both in-between. As one increases, the other decreases. That is how I used to see confidence and humility. I thought the goal must be to strike “a happy medium” not overly confident or overly humble. Why?
Well, if you’re like me, you have seen confidence lead people to be jerks and run over others, and you have seen humility lead people to be weak and indecisive so they are taken advantage of. For instance, people who think they are so right that no one else is worth hearing are annoying, and those who think they are never right don’t get anything accomplished. The issue becomes even more pointed when you think about the call for Christians to be humble and the practical reality that humility does not seem to help you get ahead in daily life. Of course, maybe we need to re-think our definitions of confidence and humility. I got to thinking about three Bible characters – Moses, Paul, and Jesus. Scripture states the humility of Moses quite clearly, and yet, his powerful leadership is un-deniable. The Apostle Paul could not have traveled and preached and confronted others as he did without confidence, and yet, his writing about God’s grace in his own life demonstrates deep humility. And Jesus (God in the flesh) demonstrated unwavering confidence and gentle, approachable humility. In fact, He said that He is humble. Maybe the right kind of confidence and humility are not opposites.
I see confidence and humility working together so each one helps produce the other. Humility allows us continue to learn and grow, which, gives more grounding for confidence. Confidence allows a person to be humble, because certainty is based on reality not ego. My thoughts were confirmed by the input of a former professor, Dr. Nancy McLaughlin, who suggested humility is a sign of true self confidence, as it frees us from having to prove our knowledge. When confidence is well-grounded, a person is freed from bluffing or being arrogant, which actually stem from insecurity. Summarizing in her own words, “As confidence grows, the comfortable cloak of humility is more easily worn.”
I also suggested that we might re-think our definitions of confidence and humility. In addressing confidence and humility, Dr. Vicki Vaughn, of the Jackson Center for Evangelism in Brownwood, TX wrote the following – “To me, confidence and humility are two sides of the same coin. By that I mean, it is only in genuinely embracing our role in time and in eternity (creation loved by the Creator, redeemed sought and bought by the Redeemer) that we are broken in humility by such love. That understanding alone can produce the ability to move through life in bold confidence because we know who we are and Whose we are. To me, that is the difference between moving in confidence (living out what God says about us) and moving in arrogance (resting on what we have to say about ourselves)...all the difference in the world!”
Many things in church life can threaten our confidence if it rests in getting people to do what we want them to do, in life circumstances, or in our own inner attitude apart from Christ. Additionally, our natural tendency may be either to cripple our work with self-doubt or to endanger our work with arrogance. Let me encourage you this week to cultivate Godly confidence and humility simultaneously.
What are some key points in your journey that have improved or hindered your confidence and your humility?
In what ministry settings is it easier to be confident and humble…more difficult?